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Dear sweet Jesus.  When I went to go see Borat (twice if you’re counting) I saw some trailers for a few truly HORRIBLE looking movies.  Watch the trailers if you want and then I can do some discussion.

First, BALLS OF FURY.

I already see the pitch for this movie now, it went a little like this:

“Okay, so it’s basically Mortal Kombat meets Dodgeball.  Instead of a Shau Kan character, we get CHRISTOPHER WALKEN to play basically Ben stiller’s character in Dodgeball.  Oh, and instead of Dodgeball, let’s make it ping pong.  I mean Dodgeball was funny, right?  What’s funnier than Dodgeball?  Ping Pong.  Especially if we throw in an element of death into it, right?  Right guys?  Oh, and our hero will be played by Jack Black.  What’s that?  Jack Black already passed?  Ok well let’s find someone that looks and will try to act like Jack Black?  Ok great!  We start shooting a week from Monday.”

I mean what the motherfuck is this fucking movie?  I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad that Jack Black’s not in this.  I mean, it’s pretty evident that that’s who they wanted for this part but for some reason or another couldn’t get.  I wonder if even Jack Black read this script and was like “Oh, wow, this is really baaaad.”  I mean this is the same asshole that is in the Pick of Fucking Destiny, right?  He has no fucking standards.  So anyway, they couldn’t get him so they got some asshole named Dan Folger to basically do his best Jack Black impression.

And how in the fuck did they convince Christopher Walken to do this movie?  I mean…this entire thing looks like a complete and utter disaster.  How in the world does shit like this get greenlighted?  Mark my words, this movie is going to get ABOMINABLE reviews, might have a decent opening weekend, and then with any luck with fail miserably and we’ll never hear from this Dan Folger character again (much like we never should have seen, heard, or spoken of Jack Black ever again after the movie Airborn).

This is the kind of movie that really, you would have to be a complete and utter fucktard to find funny.  And I haven’t even seen it.  But please believe me.

The one thing that makes me have a glimmer of hope for this movie is that it’s directed by Ben Garant of The State and Reno 911 fame, so maybe, maybe it won’t be as horrible as it looks.  Yeah right.

The next preview I saw was this one, for the movie Norbit:

Dear.  Sweet.  Jesus.

Hey, do you guys remember when Eddie Murphy was funny?  Yeah, neither do I considering it’s been 15 years.  Not counting his voice work in Shrek, here are some of Eddie Murphy’s movies from the past 10 years:  Daddy Day Care, I Spy, Showtime, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Holy Man, Metro.  I mean are you fucking kidding me?  I’m surprised he’s still offered roles.  The only funny movie that Eddie Murphy has been in since 1995 was Bowfinger.  Plain and simple.  And even that movie wasn’t very well received.  It shocks, SHOCKS me that they are still putting him in movies.

Which is why they are now officially resorting to gimmicks.

Suit #1: “Hey, what if we got Eddie Murphy, put him in a giant fat suit and made him a woman?”

Suit #2:  “Wait, can we also cast him in other roles with a lot of makeup too?”

Suit #1:  “Well obviously!  It will be a laugh riot!  I mean, did you see how much money Big Momma’s House made?”

Suit #2:  “We are fucking brilliant!  Let’s go pay some expensive hookers for sex!”

Suit #1:  “Sounds good to me!”

Fucking Hollywood.  This is a goddamn travesty.

Oh and don’t even get me started on Van Wilder 2…Jesus fucking Christ.

This was a featured clip on Youtube today.  I think it’s pretty funny and basically sums up why Friends was such a stupid fucking television show, even if that isn’t entirely the point.

Wow…the Cowboys cut their kicker…

Those who know me well know that I have the utmost respect for NFL kickers.  I’ve always said that if I ever have any sons, I am training them from birth to become an NFL kicker.  If I felt like doing any research on the subject, I could tell you how many NFL games this year have been decided by three points or less.  I don’t know.  Let’s just say a lot.

Kickers are without question, the most underapppreciated people in ALL of sports.  So many football games end in field goal attempts.  I still hold firm to the belief that after quarterbacks, kickers should be the highest paid players in football.

Anyway, this offseason the Cowboys made waves when they signed the previously unstoppable Mike Vanderjagt.  The thing about kickers though, is that once they lose their confidence, they’re done for.  And that is exactly what has happened to Mike Vanderjagt.  It’s sad really.

Vanderjagt wasn’t even that bad this year, going 13 for 18, but only 1 for 4 from 40-49 yards.  That’s not good.  Take a look at what he had done the previous 8 seasons in Indy: 217 for 248, a 87.5% success rate.  In 2002, he kicked a perfect 37 for 37.  That’s  absolutely incredible.  At one point, he became the most accurate kicker in NFL history.  And now he’s out looking for a job.

Now, here’s the thing.  He’s done.  It’s over for him.  But, since there are so few decent kickers in the NFL, chances are, Mike Vanderjagt will have a job for the next 15 years if he so chooses.  Hell, I’m guessing he’ll probably play on at least a half dozen more teams.  That’s what happens.  It’s the life cycle of a kicker.  But he’s finished.  His confidence is shot and he’ll never be the same.

My real issue with this though, is who the Cowboys think can replace Vanderjagt: Martin Gramatica.

Don’t get me wrong, I used to love Martin Gramatica.  Back in the late 90’s, he was my favorite kicker in football (and yes, I do have favorite kickers, currently my favorite kicker is a tie between Jason Elam and Josh Brown).  But Martin has been washed up for quite some time now.

Once called “Automatica” Gramatica, Martin hasn’t been a worthwhile NFL kicker for several seasons.  But such is the life of a kicker.  Martin hasn’t even had a season worth mentioning since his last season at Tampa where he kicked a horrifying 16 for 26 season.  Now that IS BAD.  But the thing is, at 31 years old, Martin is still going to find work for probably another five or six seasons, just because decent kickers are such a rarity in the NFL.  When you find a good one, you need to lock him up for as long as you can.

But Gramatica over Vanderjagt?  I think this is going to end poorly.  It’s a good thing I hate the Cowboys, and they better hope they don’t play any more close games this year.

And just since I’m talking about kickers, I’d also like to mention my least favorite kicker of all time: Jose Cortez.  Jose Cortez is without question, the worst kicker to ever play more then a dozen games in the NFL…yet he has continued to find work.

Cortez has played for eight different NFL teams!  Eight!  Not to mention a team in NFL Europe as well as the XFL.  In fact, the highlight of Cortez’s career was being the MVP of the one and only XFL Championship game where he kicked three field goals.

According to Wikipedia, he is a Fedex truck driver in the offseason.  I hope he likes it.

But again, the thing is, whenever a team gets rid of their kicker, they ALWAYS seem to think there’s a better guy driving a truck somewhere.  And they will hold their little kicker tryout, and for some reason, they always invite Jose Cortez.  And sometimes he even wins the job, which means there are a lot of seriously shitty kickers out there.

Anyway, fuck the Cowboys.  Good luck with Martin Gramatica, and when you decide to get rid of him, Jose’s shift ends at 7.

With the fantasy football regular season shortly coming to a close, I wanted to give you a little update on how one of my leagues is doing.  I used this space previously to make some predictions, and I only wish I had drafted in my more expensive league the way I drafted in this league.  Here was what I predicted a few months back:

1) Ananth

2) Mccoy

3) Boris

4) Me

5) Kyle

6) Dan

7) Alex

8) Justin

9) Chris Taylor

10) Rowe

11) Colin

12) Nate

And here are the current standings:

1) Alex

2) Rowe

3) Boris

4) Me

5) Kyle

6) Mccoy

7) Dan

8) Nate

9) Justin

10) Ananth

11) Chris

12) Colin

So, how did I do?  With the top 6 teams making the playoffs, I accurately guessed three right.  Not so good.  I was completely right about Colin’s team sucking, since Rowe decided on draft night to completely fuck his team over.

Also, I was waaaay off base with Ananth’s team.  I had really thought Ananth had a great draft, but injuries really hurt Ananth this year.

Alex’s team has really surprised me that he’s held up for as long as he has.  I remember on draft night thinking that his running backs were going to fall apart.  But anyone with LT this year is pretty much guaranteed a playoff spot considering he’s putting up three touchdowns a game.  However, what the current standings don’t show is that I am number one in points, so come playoff time, look out.  My players are starting to come around at the right time too, Frank Gore is looking damn near unstoppable, Steven Jackson is putting up numbers, Peyton Manning (THE Peyton Manning who fell to me at the bottom of the second round) is Peyton Manning, and even Maurice Jones-Drew is a solid #3 back.

At the beginning of the season I was very concerned about my receiving corps, and if anything, it’s still the weakest part of my team.  I tried making some trades earlier in the season to no avail.  So now I’m stuck with Donald Driver (putting up decent numbers), Reggie Brown (who has officially lost most if not all of his fantasy value with Jeff Garcia at the helm), Chris Henry (actually posting decent numbers but prone to an arrest and a suspension at any time), Arnaz Battle (who I only started during someone else’s bye week), and Mike Furrey (this year’s “who the fuck is that white guy?”).  Yes, my receivers are indeed some shit.

But, I am confident heading into the playoffs that I will at least come in second or first place.

And this ends this post that nobody at all cares about.

From the Post, further proving that gambling really is the downfall of our society -

LEXINGTON, S.C. (AP) — A man fatally shot his friend with a high-powered rifle in a dispute over a $20 bet on the South Carolina-Clemson football game, authorities said Sunday.James Walter Quick, 42, was charged with murder in the shooting of Richard Allen Johnson, 43. Johnson died from a single shot to the chest, according to a preliminary autopsy Sunday.

The two had bet $20 on the annual game, with Quick taking South Carolina, which won 31-28, and Johnson taking Clemson, Lexington County Sheriff James Metts said. They drank beer all afternoon and watched the game Saturday at Johnson’s home, and began arguing about the bet after the game.

Metts said Quick went to his car, got the rifle he normally uses for hunting and fired one shot, hitting Johnson in the chest. Deputies arrested Quick.

Quick was being held Sunday in the Lexington County jail, awaiting a bail hearing. The sheriff’s department said he did not yet have a lawyer.

While watching Maryland get trounced by Wake the other night, they mentioned that one of the players on Maryland missed all of last season with a torn ACL.  How did he tear his ACL?  IN HIS SLEEP.  And that friends, is a worse way to hurt yourself than walking across the street.

Via Deadspin…and we still wonder how we can elect such a retarded president…language NSFW.

This could get long…

With the new season of the Real World premiering next week, I figure now would be a good time to write the post I’ve been meaning to write for a while now about how much the Real World totally and completely sucks.

The Real World premiered in 1992. I was 11 years old. At the time, it was pretty much a brand new concept. As far as I am concerned, the Real World was one of, if not the first, reality show ever. It was something new, it was something different. The producers took seven VERY different people and threw them all in an apartment in New York together. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen season one, but from what I remember, the apartment was NOT jaw-dropping spectacular AND they had a television. Something the producers quickly got rid of in season two because I guess when you have no jobs and nothing to do, it’s pretty easy to sit around and watch tv all day (not that I would know). And that would not exactly make for interesting television.

Anyway, there were some definite characters on season one, and there was a lot of conflict. It was ground-breaking television and it was a great show.

Season two wasn’t all that much different. Seven very different people. Conflict. Good times. This was back when they still picked people who actually had lives, jobs, girlfriends, families. It really was THE REAL WORLD.

Season three was the infamous Puck/Pedro season. But it was more than that. These people still had lives. I mean after all, Pam was on the show and she was a fucking doctor! A doctor! Can you even comprehend how vastly different that is from what the show is now? But something happened during season three. Puck was a smart guy and he knew this was going to be his one and only shot at fame considering he is a fairly useless individual. So he hijacked the show. And just about every single episode of season three was about him. I hand the guy credit, he knew what he was doing. He wanted his fame, and he got it. Puck stretched his one season of Real World out longer than possibly anyone.

Season four was the first season outside of the United States as it was based in London. Again, these were still REAL PEOPLE with real lives. There was the dude in the band. There was that race car driver kid. There was even that girl Jacinda who is now apparently a fairly famous actress (most recently in the very disappointing The Last Kiss). These people all had lives outside of their house. It was good television.

Season five might be one of my favorite seasons ever, the one in Miami. It was also the first time the cast was given a “job,” in this case starting their own business, which was doomed from the start. But between Flora juggling various boyfriends, Dan being incredibly the gayest person on the show yet, Joe proving that guys who are five feet tall can still score hot women, and Melissa just being super fine, it was a spectacular season.

For the sake of keeping this under 2,000 words, I’m going to skip ahead a little bit to season 8, Hawaii, when the show really started heading downhill. The Hawaii cast first off, was made up of some of the most uninteresting people ever aside from Ruthie. They were boring, they were stupid, and they knew that they were on television. Time to party! For the record, this season also featured one of more favorite Muhammed members, the gay guy whose name I don’t even know. For the record, I call anyone on the show the show’s “Muhammed” after Muhammed from season three. The Muhammed of each season is the person that is generally never around and never on television for whatever reason. In Muhammed’s case it was because he was a cool dude with a lot going on in his personal life. In Hawaii it was this gay dude because I think he was just super boring. Anyway, Hawaii was the beginning of the end. And Amaya was perhaps the stupidest person alive.

If Season 8 was the beginning of the end, Season 12 - Las Vegas has truly become the end of the show. Everything changed after Las Vegas. Every single cast member from there on out has aspired to make their season as Vegas like as possible. It’s the reason that every season now is just drinking, fucking, and fighting. Sure it makes for good television if you’re a retard, but this shit is fucking old. Las Vegas was an absolutely horrible season that set horrible precedents from there on out. After Vegas, the producers must have had a collective meeting and said “Look, let’s just stop getting intelligent and interesting people on the show and just find attractive kids who want to drink and fuck!” And that’s how it has been since.

The last season I watched in full was season 16 right here in my new home city of Austin. It was a horrible season. Between that jackass Danny and Melinda falling in “love” (what, you’re hot? We should totally be together), Wes being the DUMBEST cast member ever, or that girl in the army making an ass out of herself every episode, that season was damn near unwatchable.

The show has changed so much since season one that it barely resembles what it once was. What was once seven VERY different people living together in a shitty apartment living their own lives with their own friends doing their own things is now seven VERY similar people living together in an unbelievable mansion, doing everything together and drinking 24 hours a day.

The show has become completely insulting to anyone with any intelligence. I’ve seen the previews of the new season and I REFUSE to watch it. I don’t need to see any more housemates fucking each other, getting arrested because they don’t know how to act when they’re drunk, or doing any other retarded shit. This season is already being promoted as how everyone just hooks up with each other. Well that’s fucking great.

If the Real World really wants to get my attention back, they need to go back to the reason the show was good in the first place. But unfortunately, I’m pretty sure it’s too late. The precedent has been set and it’s like each cast wants to set the bar just a little bit higher.

Denver is season 18. 18 seasons of this shit. And it’s only getting worse. Here are some of my predictions for the future:

Season 20: Ah, the special 20th anniversary Real World. They’ll probably go back to New York. Maybe the producers will put a couple of hookers in the house (REAL hookers, not near hookers like Trischelle or Melinda).

Season 22: By this time, every cast member will be fucking every other cast member, so in order to make it interesting they have to start incorporating a whole shit ton of group sex.

Season 25: By season 25, the show will incorporate a “no clothes” rule, wherein nobody is allowed to wear any clothing when in the house.

Season 28: With the “no clothes” rule becoming less entertaining, the producers will stop giving the cast members “jobs,” so they can stay at home more, where they are always naked and fucking each other.

Season 30: By season 30, being drunk and naked and fucking all the time just isn’t quite enough. So season 30 takes place at Cheetah’s strip club in Las Vegas. The cast actually lives on stage and is often accidentally kicked in the fact by strippers on poles.

Anyway, this is where the show is heading. This is why I am REFUSING to watch any more. Consider me done. And you should be out too.

Ok, I don’t know if anyone is actually watching these, they’re long, but they are fucking amazing.

If you aren’t watching it, let me just type out my highlight from this one…

Kirk:  In the last couple of times I’ve witnessed to someone, the subject of evolution has not come up because it’s often a non-issue…when you learn how to speak to someone’s conscience and circumnavigate the intellect, the subject of evolution seems to disappear.

Bob:  Now this is real good news for people like me…it means I don’t have to learn about the fossil record…and I don’t have to learn words like rhinorhondothakasaurus.

Kirk:  Now, are we trying to be anti-intellectual?…of course not, and that’s why we have the evidence bible!…and it will show you that the theory of evolution is unscientific…

…

Second highlight is another street interview:

Bob:  Have you ever looked at another human being with lust?

Teenager:   Yeah, I’m a human being.  I’m a teenager.
Bob:   So by your own admission, you’re a liar, a blasphemer and an adulterer at heart…and so if God judges you are you innocent or guilty?

Teenager:  Well  by your standards, guilty of course.  But if he casts his net so wide then there’s not a single person who…

Bob: True, would you go to heaven or hell if god judges you by the ten commandments?

…

OH MY GOD.

I love that first conversation between Kirk and Bob.  And here’s what it looks like with my own editorial comments:

Kirk:  In the last couple of times I’ve witnessed to someone (which should have ended with them punching you in the mouth), the subject of evolution has not come up because it’s often a non-issue…when you learn how to speak to someone’s conscience and circumnavigate the intellect, the subject of evolution seems to disappear.  (oh, so basically if you decide to completely ignore intelligence and speak to someone’s heart, it all makes sense.  Well DUH.  By his own admission, you can’t talk to someone intelligent about this because if you do, they’ll immediately call bullshit because you are a fucking retard).
Bob:  Now this is real good news for people like me (what, you mean idiots?)…it means I don’t have to learn about the fossil record…and I don’t have to learn words like rhinorhondothakasaurus.  (wow…I love how they try to make this sound all cuckoo bananas)
Kirk:  Now, are we trying to be anti-intellectual?…of course not, and that’s why we have the evidence bible!…and it will show you that the theory of evolution is unscientific…

This shit is so unbelievably laughable.  I’m not sure how anyone with an IQ above 60 can buy into this.  And that’s why I loved the street interview with that one kid.  Because he’s basically like “Well according to you douchebags, everyone is going to hell.”

Anyway, no more Kirk Cameron for now.

Yes, it’s ten minutes long…but do yourself the favor of watching this.

Man, I don’t know about you, but I’m convinced!  Airlines don’t let monkeys on the plane?  Well then, clearly, evolution is bullshit!  I’m with you Kirk!

again, stolen from Mccoy

What a fucking retard.  I like how he tries to say, “I know Muslims, I have Muslim friends…”  That’s what fucking morons do.  It’s like if I were to say “Look, I know black people, I have black friends.  But most black people are all criminals and should all be in prisons before they destroy us all.”

“I have been nervous about this interview with you…and I want to say prove to me that you’re not working with our enemies…and I know you’re not…but that’s the way I feel and I feel that a lot of Americans will feel that way.”

You know what?  Fuck this asshole.  Sadly, he is right about one thing, a lot of Americans probably will feel this way.  Stupid, uneducated, ignorant Americans.  The difference between these Americans and Glen Beck, is that Glen Beck is unfortunately on television spreading his idiocy.

I would love to go on this guy’s show…I wonder how that would go…

Beck:  Now Mr. Wigdor, you have a very liberal blog where you discuss things like Dirty Sanchez’s, The Real World, and how you don’t believe in religion.

Me:  That’s correct.

Beck:  Well, I have to admit, I’ve been very nervous about this interview…because you are a jew, and I have many jewish friends, I’ve been to many different temples…my doctor is jewish, my lawyer is jewish and I know there are plenty of good jews out there.  But I almost want to ask you, sir, prove to me that you don’t control the media, the world’s money supply, haven’t started every war since the beginning of time, don’t drink babies blood, and don’t have horns?

Me:  You are a fucking assclown.  Maybe you should prove to me why you have a television show.

Fuck this cocksucker.

Oh man I forgot how awesome Kirk Cameron is these days…

You guys remember Kirk Cameron, he’s the guy that played the lovable Mike Seaver on the wonderful 80’s sitcom Growing Pains.

It’s no big secret that over the past several years, Kirk has become a completely insane born-again Christian. If you were not aware of this fact, you’ll do yourself a favor by going to Way of the Master and becoming more familiar with how and why you are going to hell.

I might post some videos of Way of the Master later (there are several on Youtube) but the clips are all really long and since most people who read this blog are at work, I don’t imagine anyone actually sitting through them (even though they are FUCKING AWESOME).

Way of the Master is a spectacular website, although I’ve never understood where the name comes from. It sounds like a Bruce Lee movie, not some crazy born-again christian website.

Anyway, flipping channels on television last night, my roommates and I discovered that Way of the Master comes on the Christian television station. Unfortunately, we only caught the last 15 or so minutes of this particular episode, and let me tell you, it was amazing.

This particular episode of Way of the Master was about the sin of lust and why we should all fear god. Kirk and his crazy Christian buddy (name unknown, so I’m going to just call him Bob) were telling us all about how we’re going to hell. Pretty awesome.

See, apparently, according to Kirk and Bob, if you don’t follow the ten commandments, you’re going to hell. One of the commandments is “Thou shall not commit adultery.” Well that seems fair. But not the way these assholes interpret that. According to them, if you have EVER looked at ANYONE with lust, THAT IS ADULTERY! AND YOU ARE GOING TO HELL! So, basically, if you are a human being, you are going to hell. Is there anyone on the planet who has not looked at someone with lust?

Hey, don’t these people believe that God created us in his own image? If that’s the case, don’t you think God was up in heaven or whatever lusting after people himself? I mean, I don’t know who…maybe that one Hindu god that’s got like eight breasts…in any case, Kirk and Bob probably don’t think that way because you know, they’re lunatics.

Bob was telling us all that we need to fear god and god’s laws, much like we fear the laws of gravity and the LAWS OF ELECTRICITY. Yes, he actually said that. The laws of electricity.

I think my favorite part of this show was the “street interview.” It was great because I think it was actually legit, and not some staged thing. Anyway, Bob was walking around on the street and he found these three 20 year old kids to harass. So Bob approached them and began to ask them if they’ve ever lusted after any girls (I WISH one of the kids had said he was gay because that just would have made Bob insane I’m sure). And since these were HUMAN BEINGS, they were like “yeah, we’ve lusted after women.”  Bob proceeded to tell them that they are all sinners.  Then he said something about how Jesus said that if you lust after a woman, you should rip out your own eyes.  No, seriously.  He said that.

One of the kids was like “well, I don’t believe in Hell.”  This was maybe my favorite part.  Bob then said “well that’s like saying you don’t believe in traffic and trying to walk across the freeway.”  No Bob, it’s nothing like that.  You see, I can see traffic with my own eyes (you know, the one’s that Jesus wants me to rip out), and I know what will happen if I walk in front of it.  Believing in Hell and believing in traffic are not one in the same.  One is a real thing that will kill me, the other is a made up story by a bunch of people who want you to be afraid of things that don’t exist.  Not quite the same thing.

Anyway, Way of the Master.  Great stuff.

Fuck christians.

but this video is hilarious.  watch it.

So I just watched a trailer for the Simpson’s movie online and I am a little bit confused.  Namely, I am confused because the Simpson’s has been on television for what…20 years, and they’re just now coming out with a movie?

I stopped watching the show regularly around 2000.  In my opinion, it’s just been on the air too long.  They’re out of ideas.  It’s still funny, but it’s nowhere near as good as it was in the mid 90’s.

And now the movie…um, guys?  Maybe you should have done this ten years ago?

Remember when the South Park movie came out?  And it was fucking awesome?  Yeah, that’s because it came out in like, year two of South Park’s existence.  And they did a lot of shit in the movie that they couldn’t do in the television version, like say “fuck” a whole lot and have extended musical numbers that just would have been strange on television.

So unless this Simpson’s movie has extended footage of Moe killing hookers, Homer fucking that country singer from season 2, Lisa being gang-raped by Nelson and the other bullies, and other various things of that nature, I don’t see much of a reason to go see this.

Probably better than the one I posted a few months ago.

stolen from mccoy

So tonight started a two week series of Celebrity Jeopardy.  If you’re not familiar with Celebrity Jeopardy, it’s not much unlike the old Saturday Night Live skits where all the questions are dumbed down for their retarded celebrity guests.

Jeopardy hasn’t done celebrity episodes in years I don’t think, and I don’t know what made them bring it back.  Today’s guests were Carson Kressley (is that his last name?  I don’t remember.  He’s the fashion guy from Queer Eye), Nancy Grace (bitch from Court TV) and Regis Philbun.

All the celebrities are all playing for charity, and that’s just great.  Carson was playing for a suicide prevention hot-line for gay people.  I didn’t even know they specified suicide hot-lines based on sexual orientation, but apparently they do.  I mean what, heterosexuals aren’t suicidal too?  Whatever, it sounds like a good cause.

Nancy Grace (bitch) was playing for the Center for Missing and Exploited Youth.  Okay, that seems okay.  I guess kids shouldn’t be missing or exploited.  Well, maybe some kids.  Some kids are just asking for it.  Like those 15 year old girls on Myspace who post near naked pictures of themselves.  I don’t feel bad when they turn up missing or exploited.  And what defines an exploited youth?  What kind of exploitation are we talking here?  I mean sometimes you just need to find a kid and exploit him.

And then there was Regis.  Regis was playing for his high school alma mater - Cardinal Hayes High School in the Bronx.  Well at first I thought, well that seems good, a high school in the Bronx.  But then they cut to the audience where some students from the high school were sitting.  And they were wearing uniforms.  Which made me curious.  So I looked up Cardinal Hayes High School, and it turns out they have their own webpage, which if you’re interested can be found here.

Listen, I’ve got nothing against Cardinal Hayes High School.  I’m sure it’s a very fine PRIVATE CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL.  But come on Regis, your giving this money to charity and you choose to give it to a PRIVATE HIGH SCHOOL?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Yeah, it sure looks like they need their chapel redone.  Maybe the students need some new uniforms.  Give me a fucking break.

Maybe he should have donated the money to fix up the greens at his local country club.  Perhaps the nearest Mercedes Dealership needs new vending machines.  I don’t know, there sure seem like lots of other great causes he could have given the money to.

Fuck Regis.  Asshole.

And now Rumsfeld is stepping down!  Wow.

You know what’s bad about all of this?  Within a few hours, it’s sounding like Democrats are going to officially control congress.  I wonder how long it’s going to take the right to start blaming our new congress on all of our problems.  I mean shit, they still blame Bill Clinton for everything.  I wonder how it will go…
Why are we stuck in a war with Iraq?  Democratic congress.  Why haven’t we caught Osama Bin Laden?  Democratic congress.  Why do our policies towards the environment completely suck?  Democratic congress.

Oh it’s going to be awesome.

Fuck all the Republicans!