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They’ve become tired and meaningless.  Fuck the Academy.

By the way, it’s about time Scorsese won one.  Jesus.

Does anyone besides me watch Surreal Life Fame Games?

No?

Well, it’s not particularly good, but I’m a huge fan of Vanilla Ice which is why I’m watching.  Basically what they did was round up a bunch of former cast members on the various seasons of the Surreal Life, and now they’re competing in competitions in order to win $100,000.  Normally in shows like this, that kind of money would be given to charity.  But considering the cast members include people like Verne Troyer, Emmanuel Lewis, Vanilla Ice, and Chyna, these people need the money as much as charity.  In fact, the only person who probably doesn’t need the money is Ron Jeremy.

Anyway, each week they compete in challenges and one person gets booted off the show each week.  This week’s challenge was actually quite entertaining.  They were taken to a club in Vegas, and basically had to separate women into two categories:  Hookers and Non-Hookers.

It’s funny because I also play this game every time I go to 6th Street in Austin.  I don’t know what it is with women these days, but looking like a hooker is apparently the “In” thing.  Back when I was living in Maryland, it used to baffle me when I would see girls running around downtown in the middle of winter wearing heels, a skirt that stopps just below their crotch, and to paraphrase Dave Chappelle, “titties popping out of their turtlenecks.”  Women really go to great lengths to look like whores.

It’s no different here either, except the weather is warmer so dressing like a hooker is at least more comfortable I suppose.

Anyway, the competition on The Surreal Life was pretty awesome and was a bit of a microcosm of what it’s like to go out anywhere anymore.

Today as I was reading the Washington Post, I clicked on some link to a story about a current American Idol contestant who has been up to no good.  The story started out by saying that one of the contestants has had a series of photos leaked to the internet of her in compromising situations including some of her, um, servicing a male friend.

Before it even got to the name of the contestant, I immediately thought, “It must be Antonella.”  For those of you watching American Idol, this would have been pretty much a no-brainer.  Antonella, while hot, just looks like the kind of skank ho who would be dumb enough to get these kinds of pictures linked to the web.

So surprise of all surprises, the next paragraph mentioned her by name.  Color me unsurprised.  Oh poor Antonella, she’s probably the worst female singer on the show and now the world has seen what she looks like with a cock in her mouth.  Aren’t these things you think of BEFORE you go on national television?

What a dumbass.

Just read this.

Have you all seen previews for this new game show on Fox?  It’s called “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”

Basically, Fox has just said “You know what, fuck it.” and decided not to even disguise this game show as being something created solely for morons.  If you’ve read my blog for more than a week, you know how I feel about all these stupid motherfucking game shows that exist now.  I hate them.  They’re all so goddamn retarded and designed so that any idiot who knows how to spell their own name can win (and even that’s questionable).

So some jackasses at Fox have just thrown caution to the wind and have titled this show “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”  It’s yet to be determined if it includes my previously mentioned necessities for a prime-time game show - the button, the annoying family members, various “helps,” and a catch phrase.  Although, I’m going to take a guess and say that it will include all of those.

One thing we *do* know is that it IS hosted by yet ANOTHER washed up comedian - Jeff Foxworthy!  Yay!  Seriously, can someone over at NBC, ABC, or Fox put me in charge of something?  This whole thing is so motherfucking  predictable.  And stupid.  By the way, I’m not even so sure that Jeff Foxworthy is smarter than a fifth grader.

Some sample questions shown from the previews:

What is a trapazoid?

What is a prime number?

How many letters are in the word Yak?

How many fingers does a human being have?

What sound does a doggy make?

Okay, so I made up the last two, but they might as well be in there as well.  I’ll probably have to watch the first episode of this show just so I can berate how stupid it is.  Also, so I can see if it has my requisite game show needs.

God this country is full of fucking idiots.

I’m bored.

Such old news by now, but this whole Britney Spears shaving her head thing, wow, totally awesome.

First of all, I’ve always been a proponent of women shaving their heads.  I think a lot of girls would look really fine with no hair.  And Britney, I have to say, looks pretty good bald.  It’s a little bit Aliens 3 and a little bit Sinead O’conner, but I like it.

Granted, she’s clearly lost her mind, which is also awesome.  Seriously, ten years ago if you had asked me who was going to eventually go completely crazy and be the laughingstock of the media between Britney and Christina Aguilera, I would have gone with Christina.  It’s really amazing how this whole Britney Spears thing is unfolding and I’m looking forward to whatever happens next.  With any luck she’ll go on some kind of homicidal rampage.  That would be awesome.

Blah, I didn’t say any of these posts would be good today.

So a few weeks ago I was getting lambasted over at TVgasm for not knowing who Andrea Bocelli is, and then this week every comment so far has been positive.  Go figure.

Speaking of Andrea Bocelli, is anyone out there watching this season of American Idol?  I only started watching the show last year, don’t ask me why, and this season I’m thinking I’m not going to make it very far.

Last week they left us with the semi-finalists, and due to some horrible editing, I have no idea who 90% of these people are.  They’ve been shoving this Sundance Head kid down our throats, and as far as I can tell he’s okay if not extremely hairy.

I guess for now I’m rooting for that hot girl from Jersey whose name I can’t remember.  Attractive people have such the upper hand in this competition so I think she’s going to go far.  Although last year, that one super hot girl (I think she was a twin) got booted really early (I think first) because despite being super hot, could not sing.  So maybe the girl from Jersey better have a good voice.  Whatever.  I’ll probably stop watching as soon as she’s gone because I don’t really know who anyone else is.

I was really disappointed that the one dude who looked like Fidel Castro didn’t make it to this point.  He was original and a decent singer.  Oh well.  Is this show even on tonight?  I have no idea.

Speaking of television, are none of you still watching the Knights of Prosperity?  Probably not.  I’m just waiting for the official cancellation news to come in.

Well, I didn’t say this was a good post.

This has to be one of the best dunk contest dunks ever.  And he got completely robbed.

I tell you, I LOVE watching Fox News.  O’Reilly is great, if only because 99% of what he says is laughable.

But I feel bad for people who watch Fox News and think they’re getting the *real* *actual* news.

In any case, some braniac over at Fox thought “Hey, why does the Daily Show and the Colbert Report get to have all the fun?”  And that’s why Fox News has created the 1/2 Hour News Hour.

You can watch a clip of the pilot below if you feel like wasting two minutes of your time.  Basically, it’s an attempted “comedy” show slanted to the right (as opposed to those heathens over at Comedy Central who swing to the left).

First of all, Fox News better hope that successive episodes are better than this.  Two minutes of mediocre jokes about Barack Obama are not going to cut it.  Although, maybe they will.  After all, only jackasses take Fox News seriously.

But, aside from this being not remotely funny, I do have one real problem with this show.  See, the name of the channel is Fox NEWS.  That’s NEWS.  N.E.W.S.

A show like this (again, nothing to do with it NOT being funny) has NO PLACE on a NEWS STATION.  The Daily Show and the Colbert Report air on COMEDY CENTRAL.  Key word - “Comedy.”  You don’t see CNN showing reruns of South Park, do you?  No.  Because they show the NEWS.
It’s just more proof that Fox News is a complete joke (and not in the way that they’re intending).

Fucking Fox News.

Living in a box?  Asleep for the last three days?

In case you missed it, Tim Hardaway hates gay people.  Yawn.

Seriously, this whole John Amaechi thing is already boring me.  So what happened was Tim Hardaway was on the Dan Lebatard radio show and when questioned how he would deal with a gay teammate, he want on this rant about how he hates gay people.  Ho hum.

And yet, this is HUGE NEWS, getting to the point where it’s even surpassing sports.

What’s so comical about this is that the media has been setting someone up for this as soon as the Amaechi story broke.  If you ask 400 current and former NBA players how they feel about a gay teammate, at least one of them is going to say something really, really stupid.  And after that person says something really, really stupid, he’s going to get thrown under a giant bus for the world to hate.

Welcome to the underside of the bus, Tim.

Hardaway later apologized for his comments, but that doesn’t really change what he said.  Hardaway feels the way that a good population of this country feels about homosexuals.  He hates them.  Okay.  The thing is, this never would have made the news if every sports reporter wasn’t asking every single NBA athlete how they feel about gay people.

But some of the reaction to this whole Tim Hardaway thing is completely ludicrous.

For instance, last night on TNT, Reggie Miller, Charles Barkley, and Kenny Smith all gave their opinions.  As usual, Barkley had the most intelligent comments.  He basically said that if you’re an athlete in professional sports and you think you’ve never had a gay teammate at some point in your career, you’re an idiot.  Kenny Smith proceeded to make the claim that “as long as you’re putting up 20 and 10, who cares?”  This seems to be a pretty standard response among people.  Basically, as long as you can play, who cares?

Of course, the whole 20 and 10 argument is kind of funny in among itself considering there are only a handful of guys in the NBA who put up those numbers.  But that’s not really the point.

The dumbest reaction I saw last night was Reggie Miller.  He started off strong by saying Tim Hardaway’s comments showed a lack of education, but then want on to say that Tim Hardaway needs counseling.  Counseling.  Because he hates gay people.

Look, if you hate gay people, you hate gay people.  If you hate black people, you hate black people.  If you hate a group of people for whatever reason, counseling is not going to suddenly make you love them or even tolerate them.  Our society has become so fucking PC however, that to most people, Reggie’s comments probably made some kind of sense.  “Oh yes, Tim Hardaway needs counseling!”  No.  Tim Hardaway hates gay people, and nothing is going to change that.  Big fucking deal.

I’m just really annoyed that this whole thing against Hardaway was a setup anyway.  His comments were fucking stupid, yes, but if you goad enough people into it, someone is going to spout off some dumb shit.

This whole story has gotten entirely too much attention.  Call me when a current player comes out.  Until then, just shut the fuck up and play basketball.

So I love this show so goddamn much, I’ve decided to do a running diary of the latest installment of To Catch a Predator. Man I love this shit.

This week we’re in Murphy, Texas. A suburb of Dallas, and just a few short hours from my home in Austin. Yay, these people are kind of local!

Chris Hansen tells us all about this fancy house in some nice neighborhood in Murphy. Anyone who walks in the door will be videotaped. Spectacular. Hansen tells us that the first visitor is driving a “brand new $42,000 Lincoln.” The bastard. He rapes children AND drives a gas guzzling pickup truck. Fucking Texans. He’s being very cautious about getting out of his car, as the 18 year old decoy pretending to be a 14 year old tries to coax him inside.

And I gotta say, damn Dateline, you fucked up this time. Normally their decoy is around 20 years old, and marginally cute. This time they got this fugly 18 year old girl to stand in the doorway to try to get this douchebag inside. If I were him I’d get back to the internet to find a hotter 14 year old. But that’s just me.

Hansen tells us this guy is 32 year old Timothy Gilner, a married man with two kids. His online screen name? Dalladbadboy2002. Jesus Fucking Christ. Where do these assholes come up with these screen names? Most of them might as well call themselves “Childrapist666″ or “Luvtofukkids.” Whatever.

Anyway, this guy thinks she’s 14, and online he asked the decoy if she likes giving head, and also sending her pictures of his cock. Lovely. This guy’s kinda a fatass, and these pictures are not particularly flattering. He also wants to teach her how to masturbate. Oh, he’s also well aware of TCAP.

This braniac thinks he’s being smart and told the decoy before hand that he’s going to drive up and give her a webcam to use when talking to him. Online, he writes “will us how me your flat tummy when u have the cam?” Um, maybe he didn’t see any pictures of this chick cause she’s kind of a fatass. So the answer to that question is no.

He tries to get her to come to the car, but that is not going to happen. The decoy finally gives up and begins to drive away, but of course, he is arrested soon afterwards. We also find out that it’s a felony in Texas to try to solicit sex from a minor. Good. At least Texas is doing something right.

They search his car and find a shit ton of web cams and, yes, a cock ring. Woo hoo! This guy came to parrrrrty. We actually get to see his initial court hearing, which is new, where his bail is set at $50,000. Sweet.

Don’t these assholes ever learn? It’s like, they’ve seen the fucking show. Get a clue. It’s common knowledge that if you want to have sex with a 14 year old, you gotta go to Cambodia. Jesus.

The next scumbag in the house is Randall Wolford, some assfuck in the oil industry. Online, his screen name is “itnew2me,” which is both sad, and confusing. Online, he tells her he wants to take the decoy to lunch and a movie, but quickly tells her he wants to come over and give her oral sex. Woo hoo! Oh, this guy is also 52.

Hansen walks in as usual, and asks this guy how old he is. As if it makes a difference to lie, itnew2me says he’s 49. Jesus. So he’s a child molester AND ashamed of his age? He tells Hansen he was planning on sitting on the couch and going to wait for the girl’s mother to come home. Oh yeah, that’s totally believable.

This jackass starts getting flustered. I love when Hansen starts reading the chat logs out loud. “I would love to taste you,” says Hansen. Aw, how sweet! Then this guy brings up something about God. Um, what? Did I miss the 11th commandment? Though shalt fuck 14 year old girls?

Randall apparently has never seen the show, which is baffling, and storms out of the house as soon as he finds out he’s being taped by Dateline, but we all know he’s walking right outside to the police who immediately arrest him. They find his digital camera in his truck, where he’s got several naked pictures of himself. Once again, NOT flattering. He gets booked, where in a moment of pure comedy, he tries to cover his face with his shirt. Hey douchebag, you talked to Hansen for like a half hour! You’re already on tv! Fuck me this guy is a clown.

Eventually he tells the cops that he realizes what he was doing was not right, his bail is set at 50k once again.

I’ve heard that in prison, child molesters and pedophiles have it really, really bad.  And by that, I mean I hear they become someone’s bitch real, real quick.  I seriously hope that’s true.  I also hope these fucktards can’t make bail.

So get this, apparently neighbors find out that they’re running one of these TCAP and GET ANGRY and PROTEST outside the house!  For now, they don’t really go into this, but I’m a little bit confused.  Why would people be angry about Dateline getting child predators arrested?  What the fuck neighborhood is this?  “Yeah, we’re pro-child rapists here in Murphy, Texas, yessir.”  What the fuck?

The next guy that shoes up is rockandrollrule who tells the decoy online that he knows all about TCAP, but SHOWS UP ANYWAY.  It’s like I said before, can we just have these people locked up forever for being stupid?  Can we?  Can we please?  This lovely fellow is 33 year old Patrick Parr who I just hate because he’s wearing a Cowboys shirt.  Online he writes, “but it good that u have not had sex now i get a girl that has never been touch in a place i am going to touch.”  Can we lock this guy up for poor English as well?

Oh he’s also been married for a total of three weeks.  This guy is looking confused, because apparently the decoy had been using a photo of an Asian girl online, which she is most definitely not.  So this decoy is ugly AND stupid?  Great.  Hansen comes out and Pat immediately storms out of the house saying “I knew exactly what this was.”  Then why did you show up, assface?

Next up is some Indian guy who shows up with food, presumably curry chicken, but he gets scared and runs off.  The police catch up to him pretty quickly and he’s arrested.

Next up is some 26 year old dude who thinks he’s gonna have sex with a 13 year old boy.  But he freaks out quickly and runs to his car before the police smash his car window and arrest him.

This episode is getting kinda annoying because it’s a lot less of Chris Hansen being the wonderful douchebag he is and too much of the cops interrogating these people.  It’s just not the same without Chris Hansen repeatedly asking “What the hell are you doing here?”  So far this episode is a C-.  Maybe something good will happen after the commercial.

Nope, we get the smashed window guy being interrogated by cops who denies doing anything wrong, even though he brought over beer and KY jelly.  “Hey man, beer and KY jelly is my average Tuesday night!”   This guy is a real class act.  “That’s enough to get me arrested?”  Yeah, it is fuckface.

The other thing I don’t follow is why these idiots keep talking to the cops without a lawyer present.  Don’t these assclowns know their rights?

Back at the house, some 63 year old guy shows up named William.  63.  He’s 63.  At least his screen name isn’t entirely retarded - Bob75007.  What, no creativity William?  Come on dude, how you gonna turn on a horny teenager with Bob75007?

Bob is suspicious online…but like all the rest, he shows up anyway.  And in walks Hansen.  Come on Hansen, stick it to this guy!

Hansen is all “you were curious to meet a 14 year old girl home alone?” to which William replies “I knew it was a setup.”  Aaaaargh.  William quickly realizes he’s on Dateline and he’s ready to leave.  Don’t forget your walker, dickhead.

He waives his right to an attorney (why?) and begins to speak to the cops.  We get all the same shit, “I’ve never done this before,” blah blah blah.  He says everything was in jest.  Yeah, that’s believable.  Too bad the cops found some weird ass sex toy among his belongings, which he claimed was for “flipping through papers” and that he got it at an “office supply store.”  Yeah…was that Sex Depot?  Christ almighty do these guys hear the words that come out of their mouths?

Up next is a charmer named Allen who doesn’t want to say how old he is.  He’s 58 but looks like he’s on the brink of death. “I’m out of my mind.” he says.  Yeah buddy, it’s called dementia.  He heads out and is arrested.  He’s also wearing the sweetest pair of jeans ever.  “My back hurts.”  he says as the police cuff him.  God I hope this guy gets assraped in prison.  “My ass hurts!  My ass hurts!  Please stop!”

Next up is another 50+ year old who is there to meet a 13 year old boy.  He’s Stanley, and online he says he loves sucking cock.  Well you’ve come to the right house Stanley!  Stanley also sends over a photo of his shriveled up balls, as if that’s going to be some kind of turn on to a 13 year old.  Out comes Hansen.  Sic him Hansen!

This wonderful guy is a middle school math teacher.  Spectacular.  He brings up God and Hansen goes full blown Hansen mode and says “So what part of the Bible says to say all kinds of stuff in this chat like I love to suck cock and fuck ass and…”  Nice.  Chris Hansen, Marry me.

He apparently doesn’t know what’s going on and thinks he’s been taught his lesson.  Not so fast, jackass.  He’s arrested and booked and questioned.  “This could ruin me.”  he says.  Good.  It should.  He also keeps saying “I’m an excellent teacher.”  I’ll bet.

Apparently a bunch of these guys are still in jail, which is great.  So apparently, those angry neighbors were pissed that the police were attracting these scumbags to their town.  Eh, that’s only borderline stupid I guess.  However, most residents apparently support the operation.  Maybe Murphy, Texas isn’t so stupid.

Apparently there’s another episode next week where one guy apparently kills himself after being caught.  Good.

That’s all.  I love this show.

Norbit - #1 at the box office this weekend, grossing 33.7 mil.  I can’t say I’m surprised, seeing as how just two weeks ago, Epic Movie was number one.  The fucking idiots in this country.
“Oh my God, that Eddie Murphy is dressed up in a fat suit again!  It’s so fucking funny!  Quick honey, grab the kids and let’s go see that ever hilarious Eddie Murphy!  Then afterwards we have to hurry home so we don’t miss the newest episode of Deal or No Deal!  God it’s great to be the dumbest motherfuckers alive!”

Fuck.  Me.

courtesy of Kyle.  I’m apparently only posting ridiculous “music videos” today.

Courtesy of Russ.

So the big news this week (aside from Anna Nicole Smith’s sudden death) came from the NBA where former player John Amaechi has come out of the closet and announced he’s gay.  This is apparently big news, since he’s the first ever NBA player to say he’s gay.

Honestly, I don’t see why this is that big a deal.  But athletes tend to be stupid, thus there’s a lot of homophobia in all the major sports.  This is what makes it difficult for guys like John Amaechi to come out while they’re still playing.  But any pro athlete who thinks that there aren’t any gay dudes on their team, well that’s just completely naive.

One of the better quotes that has since come out since this story broke came from Duke’s own Shavlik Randolph.  First off, I don’t know why anyone is quoting him anyway, I mean it’s fucking Shavlik Randolph.  The fact that this douchebag is even in the NBA still baffles me.  But anyway, here’s his quote, in case you missed it: “”As long as you don’t bring your gayness on me, I’m fine.”  In case you’ve never seen Shavlik Randolph, I really don’t think he needs to worry about anyone coming on to him, man or woman.  Shavlik Randolph is one ugly fucker.

But that’s the one thing that always seems to resonate whenever a story like this breaks, where players are so fearful that the homosexuals on their teams will suddenly start trying to assrape them.  What’s truly great about this, is that like I already stated, there are probably a dozen or so (maybe more) gay people already playing in the NBA.  They’re just not out because everyone that surrounds them is so fucking stupid.

Think about it.  There are over 400 players in the NBA.  You don’t think that 2-3% of these people are gay?  Of course they are.  It’s just like any demographic of society.  I don’t care what you do or who you are, just because you play ball for a living doesn’t mean you can’t be gay.  What idiots like Shavlik Randolph need to realize is that they’re probably already playing with someone who is gay.  Big fucking deal.

So I figured I’d try to have a little fun with this and figure out who else in the NBA likes to shoot at his own team’s basket.  Here are a few candidates:

Shavlik Randolph:  Oh come on, this one is too easy.  It’s no secret that the biggest gay-bashers are the ones who are gay themselves.  It also doesn’t help that he’s from Duke, where most of our homosexual athletes come from.  We all know that Coach K is prone towards recruiting homosexuals (see below).

the rest in alphabetical order:

Ray Allen:  I’ve always had a lot of respect for Ray Allen.  He generally seems like a good guy, and the guy is a baller despite the fact that he’s been on some seriously shitty teams his entire career.  But there’s just something about him…yeah, he’s definitely gay.

Shane Battier:  Unlike Ray Allen, I hate this douchebag, but not because he’s a homosexual.  I hate him because he’s always comes across as such a smug piece of shit, dating back to his days at, that’s right, Duke.  Why are all Duke players homosexuals?  I don’t know.

Kwame Brown:  Okay, he might not be gay, but he does play basketball like a woman.

Kobe Bryant:  I’m pretty sure all that ‘rape’ stuff was just an act to cover for the fact that he’s gay.  I mean, the guy got married to his high school girlfriend.  What athlete would marry his high school girlfriend when there’s so much hot ass on the road every week?  It doesn’t make any sense.  No no, Kobe Bryant is probably gay.

Boris Diaw:  He’s French.  Enough said.

Rudy Gay:  I mean shit, it’s in his fucking NAME.

Devin Harris:  Isn’t Devin a girl’s name?

Brendan Haywood:  I love Brendan.  But there’s something about him that screams “self-hating queer.”  Why do you think he gets into fights all the time?

Sarunas Jasikevicius:  Maryland alum.  I only question him because he spent the last ten or so years playing ball in Israel, and from what I could tell from my trip there, every dude in Israel is gay.

Jared Jeffries:  Jared kinda looks like he wants to be wearing women’s clothing.  I’m just saying.

Jason Kapono:  I never liked this guy, but not because he’s gay.  He had a quote back when he was drafted about how he thought he should have gone higher but didn’t because he wasn’t European.  Whatever, pretty boy.

Mark Madsen:  Too obvious.

Adam Morrison:  Notorious crier.  Has the same hair as many women.  Gay.

Steve Nash:  Here’s a little known fact - Steve Nash has NEVER, EVER, been seen with a woman under any circumstances, ever.  He even refuses to give sideline interviews with female reporters.  By the way, none of that is true.

J.J. Redick:  How much do I hate this fucker (again, not because he’s gay).  And another Duke alum.

Ben Wallace:  Hey, there ARE some thug homos too.  Not all gay dudes are like Christopher Lowell.

Yao Ming:  Just cause.

Hey, maybe someone could help me out here, wasn’t Tracy Murray supposedly gay?  Wasn’t that why he got into that fight when Rod Strickland beat the shit out of him?  I can’t remember.  Anyone?

I recently added “Travis,” one of the cops from Reno 911! to my Myspace.  A bunch of the “police officers” from the show have Myspace profiles in order to promote the new movie which comes out in two weeks (which I’m also really looking forward to).  Travis sometimes posts bulletins.  Here’s one that was kinda funny.

- Remember: all of your equipment was furnished by the lowest bidder.

- Being a cop means never having to say your sorry.

Throughout the week, there are usually at most two things on television per night I want to watch.  This number is usually closer to one though.  Mondays - nothing.  Tuesdays - American Idol if I remember to DVR it (not important enough to have it set to always record), Dateline if they’re doing To Catch a Predator.  Thursdays - The Office.  Fridays - nothing.

But man, Wednesdays fuck me up.  It’s like everyone in TV only wants to put good programming (or at least shit I watch) all on at the same time.  It’s really not good.  Tonight there’s the Knights of Prosperity, another American Idol, Top Design (because I will watch any and all reality competitions on Bravo and there’s one guy on there who is such a little bitch that I want to reach through the TV and strangle him), Beauty and the Geek (which is a top priority because I’m writing recaps), the return of Lost (finally!  even though the show kinda sucks now).  And to top it all off, there’s a Duke/UNC basketball game on!  Jesus Fucking Christ.

It’s like, even if I had a life and something to do on Wednesday nights, I couldn’t do it if I wanted to.  It’s the one night of the week where the television controls my life.  So fucking annoying.  Thank god I’ve got this DVR.

Wednesdays.

I really try to avoid writing about shit like this but sometimes I have nothing else going on inside this stupid head of mine.

Sadly, I can admit that I read a few celebrity gossip blogs.  It’s all a part of being a well-rounded individual I think.  Plus it will come in handy when I finally make it on to the World Series of Pop Culture and I get asked shit about celebrity baby names or some other such garbage that nobody should really even care about.

So anyway, the latest Paris Hilton news (and this is over a week old now so you don’t have to correct me Arlene) is that she had a bunch of stuff in some storage locker that got sold and is now all over the internet.  There’s a bunch of videos of her being a racist, drunken whore (which really, is this new?) and other various things including her old fake ID (yawn) and junk like that.

In other Hilton news, apparently Paris’ dumb ass sister Niki was trying to open up a hotel or something and now the financial backers are pulling out because they don’t want to deal with her dumb ass.  Good.

I still cannot comprehend for the life of me why these people are famous.  What bothers me even more is that Paris Hilton has become a “role model” to girls across the country.  What the fuck?  I realize there was a South Park episode about this a few years back (Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset) but I think the problem is only getting worse.

Where are this girls parents?  Do they not care that their skank ho daughter has single handedly ruined their family’s name?  This doesn’t bother them at all?  It really wouldn’t be hard to get this dumb bitch to get her act together.  You threaten her with her inheritance and write her out of the will.  Simple.  I bet you’ll see that bitch close her legs so fast it will make your head spin.

Anyway, that’s really all I have to say.

Oh, also, it’s another beautiful day in Austin.  How’s the weather back in DC?