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Probably the only good thing that Bill Simmons does anymore is link to interesting stuff.  Actually, I take that back.  Most of the shit he links to sucks.  But this amused me.  It’s Kermit the Frog doing a cover of Johnny Cash doing a cover of Hurt by Nine Inch Nails.

A student has been suspended from school in America for coming to class dressed as a pirate.

But the disciplinary action has provoked controversy – because the student says that the ban violates his rights, as the pirate costume is part of his religion.

Bryan Killian says that he follows the Pastafarian religion, and that as a crucial part of his faith, he must wear ‘full pirate regalia’ as prescribed in the holy texts of Pastafarianism.

The school, however, say that his pirate garb was disruptive.

Pastafarians follow the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pictured), and believe that the world was created by the touch of his noodly appendage. Furthermore, they acknowledge pirates as being ‘absolute divine beings’, and stress that the worldwide decline in the number of pirates has directly led to global warming.

Pastafarianism gained wide attention when its key prophet, Bobby Henderson, wrote to the Kansas School Board during the height of the controversy over ‘Intelligent Design’ being taught in science classes. His letter, also published on his website, demanded equal time be given to the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as was given to ID and evolutionary theory.

Since then, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has gained countless followers worldwide, although there are those who remain spagnostic.

The school, in North Buncombe, North Carolina, remains adamant that their decision to suspend Killian for a day has nothing to do with his religion, and quite a lot to do with his repeated refusal to heed warnings against wearing pirate outfits.

I was watching a classic episode of Seinfeld tonight.  It’s the one where Newman and Kramer start collecting cans with the intent of taking them to Michigan where you can get a ten cent refund for recycling as opposed to the five cents they would be paid in New York.

Here’s a sad, sad story of my childhood.

My family used to have some relatives in New York.  That’s New York, the state that offers 5 cents for every bottle/can you recycle.  Back in Maryland, you can’t get shit for recycling your bottles and cans, other than the glorious feeling of helping to save the planet.

Anyway, one year my genius (and completely insane) parents decided, “Hey, we drink a lot of stuff out of cans, let’s save them all up for the next time we go to New York and make some money out of the deal!”

And so they did.  For several months, my parents saved up every single bottle and can they could, basically so they could make something like $50 the next time we went to New York.

Finally the time came once again to visit my grandmother and my Aunt.  We drove up to New York, as we did several times a year, except this time my mother’s minivan was packed solid with bottles and cans.  Seriously.  I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.

Anyway, we finally got to this recycling center in New York, where my parents were going to make their small fortune.  Well guess what happened?  It turns out that the automated recycling machine recognized the bottles and cans as being from OUT OF STATE, and refused to accept them.  I’m not sure which part of this story is stupider:  the fact that my parents spent months saving up bottles and cans to make $50, or the fact that the automated recycling machines not only recognize out of state bottles and cans but also refuse to accept them.

So anyway, we ended up going all the way home, minivan still packed full of bottles and cans that would never ever see the inside of a New York recycling center.

So the moral of the story is, Kramer and Newman’s plan never would have worked anyway.  I’m sure if Michigan is paying twice as much as New York for your bottles and cans, they sure as hell have fancy automated recycling machines that don’t take out of state bottles and cans.

Yes, this is my family.

Back to French fries.  So many delicious, delicious French fries. This is probably going to be difficult due to the overabundance of fries in my local area, but I’ll try my best.

As I stated the first time, reviewing French fries is a little more difficult because French fries, in my opinion, are the most inconsistent food you can get at a fast food place.  Take McDonald’s for instance.  When McDonald’s fries are fresh out of the fryer, they are super amazingly good.  But if you show up at like 3 in the morning and you get some fries that have been sitting around for a few hours, you might as well be eating your own feces because they taste like shit.

So, for the purpose of this list, I’m going to assume that the fries are the best they can be.  Fresh out of the fryer and ready to go.  I’m also only including places I’ve eaten at in the last few years so I can remember what they taste like, so places like Checkers and White Castle are being left off this list.
1) Popeye’s.  Even given the overabundance of fries in the area, Popeye’s still reigns supreme.  If someone comes along and is able to produce a better French fry than Popeye’s, you might as well kill me because I’ll have nothing left in life to look forward to.

2) Whattaburger. Whattaburger’s fries are ALWAYS DELICIOUS.  Always.  I know I mentioned that consistency wasn’t being accounted for in this list, but if it was, Whattaburger would be number one.  They’re always fresh, and they’re always awesome.  You people back in DC have no idea what you’re missing.

3) Burger King.  If there’s one thing that BK can do right (and it sure as hell aren’t their creepy ass commercials…am I the only one who has nightmares about waking up naked with the King sitting next to me holding a tube of astroglide and a big smile on his face?  Yes, it IS just me?  Great.)  Several years back, BK introduced all new french fries.  They even had a promotion that day where you could walk in and get free fries.  Crisp, delicious, perfect.  And super consistent.  It was pretty sweet.  And now, Burger King rules over french fry land and I am a loyal subject.  Goddamn that was really, really not funny.

4)  Texadelphia.  The last time I made this list I was given some shit for including places like Arby’s and Chick-fil-A because what they serve are technically not “French” fries, but rather waffle fries or curly fries.  To that I say, you people have too much time on your hands.  Like Arby’s, Texadelphia serves up Curly fries, and they are spectacular.  Plus they have this really crazy mustard that is super delicious, not to mention the largest bottles of Cholula I have ever seen.
5)  Arby’s.  More curly fries, more awesome.  In fact, I might go to Arby’s for lunch today and just go to the counter and be like “take the biggest bag you have, fill it with curly fries, and hand it over.  Nice and slow.”  And then I’m going to get back into my car and simultaneously masturbate and eat my giant bag of fries.  Now that my friends, is a good day.

6) Chick-Fil-A.  Remember, I said I’m not paying attention to consistancy, cause if I was, Chick-Fil-A would fail miserably.  But when these guys are on, they are on!  You know what I think about Chick-Fil-A’s waffle fries?  One word: Boo-yah.  So goddamn good.  Too bad Chick-Fil-A isn’t open on Sundays because it’s owned by crazy Mormons.
7) McDonald’s.  Dude, fresh out of the fryer, McDonald’s fries are crazy delicious.  Dip them in some hot mustard and you’ve really got something going on.  I only eat two things at McDonald’s: chicken nuggets and french fries.  And I could eat this every day.

8) Short Stop.  I mentioned this place the other day.  So far from Short Stop I have only eaten their burgers and fries, even though they have some other interesting items on their menu (catfish for example).  Their fries kind of taste like McDonald’s, only slightly less good, which is why they are slightly under McDonald’s on this list.
9) Five Guys.  Five Guys would be higher on this list but my problem with their fries are that they’re not crisp whatsoever.  They cook these bad boys in peanut oil which gives them a very unique taste you wont find in any other fast food fries that I know of.  Peanut oil -> Good.  Non-crispyness -> Bad.  If Five Guys could find a way to create some kind of mutant superfry that is both crisp AND cooked in peanut oil, I might have to start a new religion.  It would be like the X-Man of french fries.  We could call it “Wolverfry” and it would have the power of deliciousness and perhaps dangerous adementium claws.  But until then, they’re not moving up on this list.

10) Wendy’s.  One of the few things that Wendy’s doesn’t do all that well are their french fries.  Kind of bland and just sorta something to go along with your burger, Wendy’s fries don’t really get me all that excited.  Like I wouldn’t go to Wendy’s just to get some french fries much like I wouldn’t go to Atlantic City just to get some hooker.  Wendy’s french fries need a burger to go with them just like an Atlantic City whore needs some amazing smack to go with her.  It’s just the way it is.

11) Sonic.  Listen, I fucking love Sonic.  I do.  But if there’s one thing that they do wrong, and I think it’s the ONLY thing they do wrong, it’s their French fries.  Usually soggy, tasteless, and generally bad, Sonic’s fries just flat out suck.  The good news however, is that if you get a combo meal, you can get tater tots instead of fries!  I would recommend this.
12) Church’s Chicken.  I think they just take these out of some bag in the freezer that’s been sitting around since the Reagan administration and throw them in the fryer.  No love, no care.  No good.
13)  KFC.  Listen, KFC sucks.  If you eat at KFC, you are either in some way related to the Colonel, or you’re retarded.  It’s one or the other.  Listen up KFC - a potato wedge will NEVER be a french fry.  So why don’t you take your wedges and shove them up the Colonel’s ass?

Hmmm, I’ve probably left a few places out…Like DQ for example.  Blah.  Too many places serve French fries.  So that’s the list.

Remember my previous ongoing series, The Best Fast Food Around?

Well, ever since I’ve moved, I have really needed to redo this.  You see, my house in south Austin is strategically located at what I like to call, The Nexus of the Fast Food Universe.  We have stuff here that I had never even heard of before I moved here.  So it’s only fair to go back and update my old posts.  Today, I start all over again with hamburgers.

This is going to be part 1 of my series “The Best Fast Food Around.”  Considering 65% of my meals (roughly) are fast food, and I am a disgusting fat slob, I’m going to use this space from time to time to rank my favorite fast food based on different categories.  Today’s focus will be hamburgers.

1) Five Guys.  Five Guys is still hands-down the BEST hamburgers anywhere around.  Unfortunately, they have no Five Guys in Texas, so I can now only get this when I come home for whatever reason.  I miss Five Guys.  A lot.
2) Sonic.  Oh sweet Mother of God do I love Sonic.  Listen, to all you Maryland folk reading this who get Sonic commercials on television but no actual Sonic to eat at: you are missing out on some good shit.  I’m not going to go into a lot of detail about Sonic right now because this post is supposed to be all about hamburgers, but let me tell you straight up that Sonic is fucking A-MAZING.

Anyway, Sonic’s burgers are spectacular.  What I think I like best is that they don’t automatically put ketchup on them!  And anyone that knows me knows that I HATE KETCHUP.  At Sonic they ask you if you want MAYO or MUSTARD.  Hell yeah.  Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Oh, and also, if you’re feeling in an especially gluttonous mood, you can get your burger on Texas Toast.  Delicious, delicious Texas toast.  Sonic is amazing.  Seriously.

3)  Fuddruckers.  The first time I did this I mistakenly left Fuddruckers off of this list.  I think I did that because Fuddruckers is kinda in between fast food and…um…slow food.  But I’m doing it this time because Fudd = Pure Joy.  And they have Fudd in Austin as well.

4) Checkers.  I still put Checkers at number 4 even though it’s one of the only real fast food establishments in existence that I am yet to see down here in Texas.

5)  Short Stop.  Short Stop is this tiny little place about a block away from my house.  I don’t know if it’s a chain, I don’t know if there’s anywhere to sit inside, I don’t know if they’ve passed any sort of health inspection, I don’t even know if their burgers are even made out of cow.  What I do know is that they are delicious.

6) White Castle.  Seriously, I think these only exist in New Jersey.
7) Wendy’s.  Still great.

8) Whattaburger.  Whattaburger is actually pretty good too, and again, they don’t put ketchup on your burgers.  Awesome.
9)  Texadelphia.  Texadelphia is this fast food chain around here that specializes in Cheese steaks.  Wonderful, wonderful cheese steaks.  Mouth watering cheese steaks.  What I love most about this place is that they carry the biggest bottles of Cholula I have ever seen, although it makes them difficult to steal.  Also, their burgers are pretty good and they have CURLY FRIES!
10) Burger King.  Slipping.

11) Dairy Queen.  Okay, so if you’re going to the DQ you’re really supposed to get some ice cream.  But I went the other week and got a burger.  And it’s wasn’t half bad.

12) McDonald’s.  Now that I live here, there is absolutely no reason to ever go to McDonald’s.  Never.  Never ever.
They also have a bunch of Jack-in-the-Box’s around here but I haven’t been ever since I was told the story about how one of my roommates almost died after eating there.  And there’s another place called Hut’s that supposedly has the best burgers in the city, but I’m never over that way when they’re open.  I’ll still probably get around to it one day or another.  Hmm, did I forget anywhere?  Probably.

For the record, here’s an all-encompassing list of fast food places they have here that they don’t have at home (all within five minutes of my house):

Whattaburger

Jack-in-the-Box

Church’s Chicken (think Popeye’s but not as good, but still better than KFC)

Short Stop

DQ (I’m told these are around but I have no idea where they are at home)

Sonic (overall, the best fast food place EVER)

Taco Cabana (think Taco Bell, only if Jesus owned it)

Texadelphia

Culver’s (I don’t know what this place is but it’s right by my house)

Red Robin (same as Culver’s)

Also within a five minute drive from my house:  McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Chick-Fil-A, Burger King, Popeye’s, KFC.  Probably more.  No wonder I’ve gained 80 pounds and had three heart attacks since I moved here.

You know, you really should watch when I post videos.  They’re usually cool or funny in some way.  Go watch AskaNinja and HopeisEmo.

Stolen from Chris, very well made (especially if you like the Office…Nelly still sucks).

Well it’s already that time of year.  That’s right, college underclassmen have already begun declaring themselves eligible for the NBA draft.

And the first name to come out is a big one, it’s Duke’s loser center Josh McRoberts!

Woo hoo!

This is great news because I love whenever a Dookie comes out of school early and promptly fails in the NBA.  Well, honestly, I also like when a Dookie graduates and promptly fails in the NBA.  Just for fun, I’m going to grade a small sampling of some Duke players who are in or were once in the NBA:

William Avery:  Better than average point guard at Duke.  Left school early, “played” three seasons with the T-Wolves.  Averaged 2.7 points in 142 games.  Grade: F-.  Way to leave school early William.

Shane Battier:  Spent all four years at Duke.  Never figured out his head.  Has a career average of 10 points and about 5 boards per game.  Hasn’t exactly lived up to his draft hype (he went number SIX OVERALL, are you fucking kidding me?).  But not exactly a bust since he apparently is one of the three players in the NBA who plays defense.  Grade: C

Carlos Boozer:  I really hate this guy for so many reasons.  Also spent all four years at Duke.  Drafted in the second round and has become a dominant forward in the NBA after screwing over that blind guy in Cleveland.  Hey Cleveland fans, be happy this cocksucker isn’t around anymore.  I heard he likes to abduct dogs and have sex with them.  But he’s still a pretty good rebounder.  Grade would be higher if he wasn’t always injured.  Grade: A-

Elton Brand:  One of the few Dookies I don’t detest (I don’t like him either though).  Has had a solid if not spectacular career.  Would probably be talked about more if he hadn’t spent the bulk of his career on the Clippers.  Was also offered straight up for Kwame Brown before the Wiz drafted him.  Now that’s a deal that looks pretty good in hindsight.  A career 20 and 10 guy.  Fun note: Brand was the #1 draft pick in 1998.  I guess I forgot that.  Grade: A.

Chris Duhon:  I’ve got a buddy who’s a Chicago fan and he loves Duhon.  Apparently everyone in Chicago does.  This confuses me.  Chris Duhon?  THE Chris Duhon?  This guy sucks.  But I have to admit, for a second round draft pick, he’s been more serviceable in the league than I would have thought.  Grade: C.

Mike Dunleavy:  To this day, I will never, NEVER understand how this stick was drafted #3 in 2002 ahead of Drew Gooden, Chris Wilcox, Amare Stoudemire,  Caron Butler and Tayshaun Prince - all guys who play the 3 or the 4.  Mike Dunleavy.  Over all of them.  Seriously?  Seriously?  Career averages of 10 points and 5 boards.  Oh, and he couldn’t guard me if he tried.  I also recall a few games in college where one Chris Wilcox destroyed him.  Give the guy credit though, somehow he managed to score a contract worth 50 million dollars.  God that makes me sick.  Grade: C-.

Daniel Ewing:  This is one guy I didn’t actually hate when he was at Duke, but he definitely should have stayed in school.  Sorry guy, the NBA ain’t for ya.  Grade: D.

Danny Ferry:  To this day, I still don’t quite understand how Ferry managed to stick around in the NBA for 12 seasons.  The dude was a number two draft pick overall, and in his best, his BEST season, he averaged 13 points, 4 boards, and 2 assists per game, way higher than his career averages of 7, 2.8, and 1.3.  For the record, he was drafted ahead of Glen Rice, Sean Elliot, Shawn Kemp, Tim Hardaway, and Vlade Divac among others.  Grade:  D+.

Grant Hill:  Great guy, awful body.  It’s amazing what Hill could have been if he hadn’t been built out of Legos.  Hill only had four good seasons before his body fell apart on him.  It’s a shame too cause I genuinely like the guy, even though he is a Dookie.  Grade: B, but he could’ve been way higher.

Bobby Hurley:  Did you realize this guy was drafted 7 overall?  7!  Of course, the 1993 draft didn’t really have too many studs.  Some of the BEST guys after him include Vin Baker, Rodney Rogers, Allan Houston, and Sam Cassell.  Not exactly a large smattering of All Stars in there.  But still, when you draft a 6 foot tall white kid from Duke, what are you expecting?  That car accident was probably the best thing that ever happened to him since he was later able to avoid much, much embarrasment as an NBA player.  Grade: D.

Dahntay Jones:  Best known for being a thunderous dunker, and not much else.  See Harold Minor.  Grade: D.

Christian Laettner:  Remember what I said about not figuring out how Ferry stayed in the league so long?  The same goes for Laettner.  Somehow this guy was in the league for 13 seasons (and for six different teams)!  13 fucking seasons!  I’ll grant him the fact that he was decent, DECENT, for the first 8 or so.  But he was also a notorious cancer in the locker room, and I hear he smells like a dirty cunt.  Grade: C+.

Trajan Langdon:  Can anyone say one hit wonder?  This guy could do one thing and one thing only at Duke:  Lick coach K’s balls.  I mean, nail 3 pointers.  It’s what he did, and he was good at it.  Too bad he couldn’t do shit else.  Langdon only played three seasons in the NBA and then, I’m guessing, went ice fishing in Alaska.  I predicted a few years ago that JJ Redick’s career will go about the same way.  Grade: F.

Corey Maggette:  I don’t have a whole lot to say about Maggette.  Maybe he’d be better on a better team, maybe he’d be worse.  Maggette is okay.  Grade: B.

Cherokee Parks:  Do I even have to say anything?  Anything at all?  Prediction:  Josh McRoberts = Cherokee Parks.  Career averages of 4.4 points, 3.6 rebounds.  And somehow this loser managed to stay in the league for nine seasons.  Josh McRoberts, I give you your future.  Grade: D.

Shavlik Randolph:  I still, for the life of me, do not know how Shavlik made a team in the NBA.  What I do know however, is that Shavlik Randolph likes the cock.  Grade: D-.

JJ Redick:  I know he’s a rookie.  But come on, just check out the numbers: 6 points, 1 assist, 1 rebound per game, in a whopping 31 games.  I don’t see it getting much better than this.  Oh, and for a guy that lit it up beyond the arc in college, color me less than impressed by a 37% three point percentage.  Grade:  Incomplete.

Jayson Williams:  Look, I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but when I heard about the motorcycle crash and how it was most likely going to end his career, I smiled.  I did.  Maybe it wasn’t nice, maybe I’ll go to hell for it.  I just never liked the guy.  And seriously, if you’re a pro athlete, and you have your life set forever, don’t get on a motorcycle.  Don’t jump out of airplanes.  Don’t ride bulls.  Don’t even have sex with suspicious looking women.  Play it safe.  Grade:  Incomplete.

Sheldon Williams:  Another rookie so it’s hard to judge.  But so far this year his numbers are 4.9 points,  and 4.8 rebounds.  Not exactly spectacular.  Grade:  Incomplete.

So what have we learned here?  A few things.  One:  Under only rare circumstances should any team draft a Duke player with a top ten pick.  They don’t work out.  Coach K does NOT prepare these guys for the NBA, which is laughable when you think about the fact that he gets some of the best talent to Duke EVERY SINGLE YEAR.  Why aren’t there more great Duke graduates in the NBA?  Of the list I just made, how come only Elton Brand, Carlos Boozer, and Grant Hill (to a lower degree because of injury problems) have made a significant impact in the NBA?  Most of, if not all of those guys were pretty good if not great college players.  But in the NBA?  Trash.  They are complete trash.

So for whatever team is out there who decides to take this loser McRoberts in the first round, good luck.

In opposition to my last post, I present you with possibly my favorite commercial ever (well, probably not ever, but my current favorite one).  Oh, by the way, couldn’t find a Youtube clip of the Entourage one.

Man I love Gilbert Arenas.

You know what commercial I hate?

It’s the one that’s now on all the time for Direct TV, where it’s Ari from Entourage talking to Turtle on the phone.  It’s from some episode where Ari got all of the guy’s floor seats to a Lakers game.  When Turtle asks who they’re playing and Ari says “The Wizards,” Turtle says “Fuck that.”

Fuck that?

Oh what’s wrong Turtle, you don’t want to watch one of the greatest players in the NBA light up your team for 54 points?  Is that it?

God I hate this fucking commercial.

So I was watching this show today on TV Land called “Sit Down Comedy With Some Guy,” actually, it’s with the name of some guy I don’t know and can’t remember his name.  Basically the show is like Inside the Actor’s Studio, except funnier.

I’ve never seen the show before, but I heard it was funny and I decided to watch it since the guest was Jon Stewart.  And it got me thinking, what the hell happened to Craig Kilborn?

I remember when the Daily Show first started oh, about ten and a half years ago.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I will anyway, I loved Craig Kilborn when he was the host.  In fact, I loved him so much as the host, that when he left and Stewart took over, I actually REFUSED to watch the show for about two years.

That’s right, I wanted Kilborn OVER Stewart.

In retrospect, this was clearly one of the stupider decisions in my life, right after having unprotected sex with that 13 year old Thai hooker but before letting Britney Spears babysit my kids for a few hours.

The Daily Show really made Jon Stewart’s career.  I realize that Jon Stewart was around long before he hosted the Daily Show.  He was a regular on various shows on MTV, he had a pretty good standup following, I think he even had a show on HBO for a while.  But Jon Stewart didn’t really make it HUGE until the Daily Show.

If I remember correctly, the Daily Show didn’t even become very politically motivated until he took over.  Honestly, all I remember anymore about Kilborn is that most of his guests were actors and actresses (compared to now when the majority of the guests are authors or involved somehow in politics) and that he played “5 Questions” with them.

The entire face of the show changed with Stewart, and now it’s easily one of my favorite shows on television.  Jon Stewart is all the rage these days, and he is completely beloved by left-swinging people the nation over.

So what the hell happened to Craig Kilborn, and what is he thinking these days?

Sure he had that short-lived (and awful) late night talk show that nobody watched.  I mean seriously, he was up against Conan every night.  What douchebag would choose Kilborn over Conan?  And this is coming from someone who actually LIKED Kilborn.

So where the hell is he these days?  Do you think he curses Stewart’s name every night before he goes to bed?  I bet he does.  I would.

Poor Craig Kilborn.  Where are you?

This short post is dedicated to Arlene. I love your last comment. Someone should start up a foundation in your honor. You’re like the new Susan B. Anthony.  They should make a coin in your honor.

Even though I live in Austin now, I still read the Washington Post for my source of news.  And when I say “source of news,” what I actually mean is “source of Washington related sports news,” because really, who cares about things like Darfur, Iraq, and Scooter Libby?  I sure don’t.

Anyway, if there’s one columnist who needed all of her writing privileges taken away years ago, it’s gotta be Sally Jenkins.  And today’s column topped them all.  It’s all about why Kevin Durant, easily the best player in college basketball, should stay in school.

Oh Sally Jenkins, you dumb bitch.

In her column, she basically says that Durant has gotten so good because he’s had a plan since the beginning on becoming a great player, and only time and determination will make him that great player.  Okay, that’s fair.  But Sally, really, stay in school?

Durant is going to be a top two draft pick.  That is pretty much an undisputed fact.  It’s him or Oden.  There is no question about that.  In fact, if it weren’t for the NBA’s new age minimum that started this year, Durant most likely would have gone straight to the NBA and avoided college altogether.

So yes Sally, it sure makes a lot of sense to stick around in school as unquestionably the best player in college and pass up a guaranteed fortune that will set him and his family up for life.  That makes a lot of sense.

Please take this women’s column away from her.  Seriously.

Considering I didn’t have a wristband and didn’t get into any real SXSW shows here in Austin, most of my highlights came from the views of all of the interesting folks I saw on the streets.

On Friday night, I caught a glimpse of possibly my favorite Austin moment so far.  SXSW seemed to attract all kinds of folks:  emo kids, LA bigwigs, celebrities (I had heard of a bunch in town but the only one I saw with my own eyes was Brian Possain (sp?)), metalheads, etc.

Late Friday night, with 6th street a complete zoo, I saw possibly one of the more funnier things since I moved to Austin.  It was this 40-45 year old lady walking down the street wearing super tight purple leopard print pants, a purple tank top that must have been glued on that seriously accentuated her breasts (which were somewhere above her knees but below her waist), and cowboy boots.  She also had super ridiculous frazzled bad hair.  Now this in and of itself wasn’t that funny.  The part that made it was that walking with her, side-by-side, was what I can only guess was her 12 year old son.

That poor little bastard.

I can only imagine the torment he must go through on a daily basis.

If only I had a picture.  Ah well.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and complain about one of THE WORST CALLS IN BASKETBALL HISTORY, the charge on Strawberry in the final minute against Butler the other day that cost us a chance at tying the game.  I’m not going to do it.  We lost, okay.

Instead of bitching about that, I’m going to bitch about this one, which when I saw it live made me say “Holy shit, that’s not an intentional foul?”

Oden completely destroys the guy with the ball in this clip and instead of two shots and the ball, Xavier ended up blowing the game in overtime.  If I was a Xavier fan, I would be seriously, seriously pissed off.

I like Greg Oden.  Dude’s got game and he’s going to be a stud in the NBA (most likely).  I realize the NCAA also knows this, and the refs also know this, but come on.  An intentional foul is an intentional foul.  And what Oden did in that clip is beyond that.  What Oden did there is something out of Wrestlemania and not something from the NCAA tournament.

Just plain awful officiating.

From the Shane Battier School Of Flopping…you get an F.

You know what’s even better than the fact that Duke lost today?  The fact that they were the ONLY team that got upset today.  That’s it.  Just them.  That makes me smile.

Considering Duke is going to be ousted in the first round of the NCAA this year (although I’m starting to actually doubt that since every single person everywhere is picking them to lose to VCU), I thought this video would be appropriate:

I usually call these “America - Land of Idiots,” and then I use a lot of curse words but the Post took a bit of a higher road.

Here.

Sorry for lack of updates as of late, and I’m afraid to tell you that there might not be a lot this week.  It’s SXSW here now, which means there’s a shit ton going on as well as about 90 people staying at my house.  But don’t fear, i’ll be back.  Maybe.