copyandcigarettes.com

Classic video.  My favorite comes at around the 5:30 mark.

Hello Dan,

I had no idea you read my blog.

Fuck you.  I hate you.  Goodbye.

Maybe the NBA is rigged, maybe not.

I mean, I think there’s lot of evidence for a massive conspiracy but then again, the Clippers won the draft last night so maybe not.

But here’s the great thing about the NBA (probably) being rigged for Lebron to win the title: Maryland great Joe Smith will win a title.

So that’s good, right?  Boo NBA rigging.  Yay Joe Smith!

Joe Smith is commonly referred to as a bust given that he was the #1 draft pick in 1995.  I mean, here’s a list of guy’s also in that draft: Jerry Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace, Kevin Garnett, Michael Finley, and Ed O’Bannon (just trying to see if you’re paying attention).  But Joe Smith was hardly a bust.  Sure, he’s no Hall of Famer, but a bust he is not.  The dude is not Kwame Brown or Michael Olawakandi.

But anyway, I’m happy for him when the NBA rigs their win.

By the way, a bit of evidence towards some…seriously questionable officiating: last night in, I think, the second quarter, Carmelo Anthony hit a shot that was initially called a two.  The commentators mentioned that the officials were going to take a look at it at the next stoppage to review if it was a three.  Replays on the television sure as hell made it look like it was a three.  But then…we never heard about it again!  If the officials reviewed it, we never heard about it.  So did they review it?  I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem so.   And if they did, they ruled it a two and not a three.  So either way, the whole thing was totally fishy.

And then what happened at the end of the game?  That one point would have made a HUGE difference.

And then of course tonight, there have been several no-calls in the first half that have been a bit more than questionable.  I’m pretty sure Dwight Howard was raped at one point.  But speaking of Howard, here are his three fouls in the first half: questionable charging call, another questionable charging call, and a blocking call against a Lebron James layup, where Howard just about grazed him on the way up.

Hmmm.

And I’m supposed to believe the refs aren’t calling this one way purposely more than the other???

Let me start by saying I like Coors Lite. I think it’s a better beer than say, Miller Lite. Might be a toss up with Bud Lite. I don’t make it a habit of drinking lite beers because I’m a fatass and I like my carbs and calories, thanks very much.

But all this “My beer can has turned blue, it must be cold” nonsense has to end. Really.

In fact, I can’t believe I haven’t written about this before.

For those of you who don’t watch sports on television, Coors has bottles and cans where the logo on the side turns BLUE when your beer is cold enough for drinking! That is, you buy it at the store, you bring it home, and then I assume the cans start to turn blue when they’ve reached an optimal temperature.

Hey, you know another way to tell if your beer is cold? Here’s a step by step process:

1) Put beer in fridge.

2) Open fridge.

3) Grab beer.

4) If it’s cold, your beer is ready for drinking. If it’s not cold, wait. Or it’s time to fix your fridge.

Really, how much money was invested in the color changing can technology over at Coors? I mean, how stupid do you have to be to know whether or not your beer is cold?

This is really not a difficult thing here.  Shit, I’ve been 10 or 11 beers deep and still have the ability to decipher whether or not the next one I grab is COLD.

Stupid.

So some magazine recently released their best cities in the world to live in.  Of course, this is mostly arbitrary and silly, but it’s fun to read stuff like this.

The United States did rather poorly, with only Honolulu and San Francisco making it into the top 30.  But my favorite part from the story is this quote:

“The bottom? Baghdad once again comes in at 215.”

This reminded me a lot of when Norm McDonald used to do the news on Saturday Night Live and he did the bit about the world’s best jobs.  The line is something like “And coming in last once again, Assistant Crack Whore.”

Did this magazine really need to go out of their way to show that Baghdad is the worst city in the world?   That is, of all the cities surveyed.  I’m sure there are worse places than Baghdad…right?  Okay maybe not.  I suppose between all of the roadside bombs, snipers, and general destruction, living in Baghdad probably sucks pretty bad.

But come on, let’s say you’re Joe Falafel living in Baghdad and you read this article.  Doesn’t that just piss you off even more?  As if these people don’t need any more reason to go suicide bomb something.

A comment posted today on an older post where I berated morons who try to buy fake ID’s on the internet:

“Wtf, I can’t believe you wasted your time writing that whole article writing about kids buying fake ids, no-one gives a fuck. Did u not have a life from 13-18, clearly not.”

Clearly you give a fuck enough to comment on my blog.  Also, no, I did not have a life back then.  Actually, I still don’t.  Evidently you haven’t read much else on my blog otherwise you coulda figured that our yourself.

But sorry, you still lose.  Anyone who tries to buy a fake ID on the internet is a moron and probably in line for their own reality show on VH1.

It’s official, more people are now finding my blog from searching for “Shamwow Guy” than “What happened to Craig Kilborn.”  Congratulations Vince, you’re the most popular subject on my blog.

Swine Flu

Bird Flu

Mad Cow Disease

Bovine Myopia

Feline Herpes

Canine Cancer

Rodent Aches and Pains

Insect Elephantitis

Squirrel Migraines

So let’s just stop talking about it already.