As I get older an older, the more I pay attention to politics.  For some evidence of this, please read any post I wrote here during the last presidential election (where I incorrectly predicted a mccain/palin victory.  Anyway, politics are very hard to follow because of our incredibly biased news media swinging hard left or hard right.

And in that idea, I think I had an epiphany tonight.  I am going to create a new political party.  Let’s be honest, most politics are about money when it comes down to it, and, yeah, I’d like to make some money.  What better money is there than money in politics?

So, I’m creating a new party in this country.  And I nominate myself as our official speaker.  We’re the Center party.
It’s pretty simple.  We’re in the middle.  We have no policy.  We have no platform.  We have no in-bred ideals or philosphy until you do.We are quite simply, in the center.  We’ve got no political ideas until someone on one side does and the other side disagrees.
The fact remains, the USA leans towards the middle.  There are always going to be extremists in each end (thanks Bell Curve!) but overall, we are a moderate country.  Yet, there is no Center Party!  How can this be?  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s because the “Middle” or the “Moderate” or the “We’re In Between The Issue” Party like a bunch of pussies.  I think, in reality, it’s a naming problem.  Nobody wants to be part of the “I Like What Both You’re Saying” Party.  Nobody.

Again, I just want to reiterate that I’m just looking to make some money here.

I am therefore creating the Center Party.  We don’t lean left.  We don’t lean right.  We’re, what you might say, right in the Center.

We have no ideals.

We have no policy.

In fact, we don’t have anything at all until one side proposes something and the other side hates it.  At that point, we’ll come up with our suggestion, and you can believe that the answer is something right down the line.

Let’s take for example the current Health Care debate.

The left side believes in a Public Option and health care for everyone.

The right believe in no Public Option and health care either for those who are forced to pay for it.

The Center Party:  well, perhaps there should be some exceptions.  Like maybe, for people living below the poverty line there should be an exception.

Gay marriage: The left thinks gay people should be allowed to have marriage rights and be married just like everyone else.  The right thinks gay people shouldn’t have equal rights.

My party: Some gay people should have marriage rights.  Say, people who can prove they’ve shared a residence for a certain period of time.  Or something like that.  Listen, it’s just me right now in this thing.

I think you see my point.  And while I might agree or disagree with my own philosophies, it doesn’t really matter since I’m just about making money anyway.

So join the Center Party!  We are the futre of the United States of America!

(please leave a comment with your email address if you would like to send me money)