Dear Brett Favre,

Come here you sexy thing.

No, no, walk a little slower.  Yeah, like that.  You know how I like it.

Can you do a little spin for me?  No, no, go the other way.  Yeah…mmmm…nice.

Can you blow me a little kiss?  Oh, yeah, just like that.  Fuck you are sexy.  Why don’t you take off that helmet so I can get a better look at that beautiful face of yours?  Nice.  Hot.

Oh I like how you look in those pants.  You big tease.  Why don’t you come on over here so we can get closer?

Oh yeah, the things I want to do to you.  Why don’t you remove those shoulder pads and we can get a little more comfortable?  Can I fix you a drink?  I’ve got some wine coolers in the fridge.

Yeah, take a sip of this.  It’s good, right?  Oh Brett, you get me so hot.

Oh, no!  I spilled my wine cooler all over your pants!  We better get those off of you and into the washer!

Don’t be shy, you can sit a little closer.

Oh Brett.  You are one sexy fuck.

I’m just going to dim the lights a little bit.  Yeah, that’s nice.  Sets the mood a little bit.

You’re not drinking your wine cooler!  Come on, it’s good.  It’s mango papaya, I’m sure you’ll like it.

Oh that?  That’s just my Fat Head of you on the wall.  What can I say, I’m a huge fan!

I’m going to put on some music.  Do you like Kenny G?  Yeah, that’s real nice.

My roommates won’t be home until tomorrow so we have the whooooole house to ourselves.  We can do whatever we want…

Yeah, I’m going to make you feel like a man.

(Slurp slurp, gobble gobble)

Sincerely, the Entire Sports Media