Well, I’ve finally made it in life. Time to end it all.
It seems that if you type “I hate the UPS guy” into google, my blog post is the first thing that shows up. I also show up #4 if you search “UPS guy hair,” which I’m not sure why. What’s so great about his hair? He looks like a fucking asshole who wants to tell you about all the AP classes he took in high school.
Anyway, other strings that apparently find my blog are “ups commercial perfect circles,” (Yeah, I’m not impressed with that either, dickface) and “ups whiteboard guy sucks.”
However, “Craig Kilborn” is still way out in front. I figured this wouldn’t be the case given the inordinate number of comments on my UPS post. It would seem that people hate him SO MUCH, that they are more inclined to write about their hatred. For some reason, I find this fascinating.
And it’s not just that - many of the comments on the UPS whiteboard guy post (see here: http://copyandcigarettes.com/?p=594) are like, incredibly funny. This leads me to believe that not only are the people who find this site through the whiteboard guy funny, but they are probably also intelligent, whereas some of the Craig Kilborn posts are not as intelligent. So people who hate the UPS whiteboard guy >>> Craig Kilborn people. Seriously, go read some of those comments, here’s my favorite one so far:
“I can only thank God in heaven that someone is finally providing a forum for discussion of the incomprehensible annoyingness of this fucktard. I detest him with the fire of a thousand blazing supernovas. Why is he still on? Whose idea is this of a great corporate spokesman?
If such a colossal turdbag actually had the audacity to show up at our office, the presentation would last about 45 seconds, after which there would be a beatdown and head-shaving. And then it would get ugly.
Please UPS, either take him off TV or set the whiteboard up in an open field surrounded by crazed pumas.”